So, you've made it this far. Maybe you know who I am, or maybe you just happened to see some of the 'humiliating' pictures and videos of me. Either way, welcome.
Now that you're here, I'm Pat. I'm riding in Pelotonia. It's a 180 mile bike ride from Columbus to Athens and back, across two days. My goal is to raise $2000.00, every cent of which goes directly to The Ohio State University for cancer research.
"But, Pat..." you ask. "How do you raise $2000?" Well, loyal followers, I'll tell you how.
By having my friends come up with demeaning and humiliating things for me to do! This year's topic, Twilight! If you know me, you know I despise Twilight. I despise Twilight as much, if not more than Keanu Reeves.
"But, Pat..." I hear you whine. "Keanu Reeves did the Matrix." Yes, he did. Very observant of you. He also destroyed the Matrix with the following two movies in the trilogy. Granted, his horrible acting ALONE didn't do this, but it sure didn't help... In fact, the man is helpless! He can't act... "I know Kung-Fu!" Really, dumbass? How about you learn to act now! I gotta stop ranting about this, as it's just pissing me off thinking about Point Break.
Anyways, as you've probably derived from the above paragraph, I'm passionate about a lot of things, both good and bad. And I'm passionate about "Kicking Cancer's Ass", per Adriane. Most of you know Adriane, but for those of you who don't, Adriane is the main reason why I'm torturing myself by watching Twilight, making a general jackass out of myself in order to raise money for cancer research, and why, for some unforsaken reason, I've decided to ride 180 miles with a rock hard bike seat shoved so far up my ass that I can taste leather.
Adriane and I have been friends since grade school. About the same time as I was ready to have my Kidney Transplant, Adriane was diagnosed with Hodgekins Lymphoma. Adriane stood by my side through it all, even while she was going through her chemo. Six months later, after I'm relatively recovered, Adriane was at the Olympic Trials with a t-shirt that read "I Kicked Cancer's Ass."
Adriane has been a source of inspiration for me, personally and athletically. Without her help and guidance, I doubt I would've been able to win the North American Cup. So, Miss Adriane, I hope this pain, suffering, and humiliation that I'll be going through can help relay one single iota of how much you mean to me.
And now, let the Twilight bitching begin.
As always, to make a donation to my Pelotonia Ride (100% money raised goes directly to cancer research), or to learn more about Pelotonia, please visit: http://www.pelotonia.org/ride/riders_profile.jsp?MemberID=55449
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